Saturday, March 15, 2008

To Prove you are a Mumbaite


  • You say "town" and expect everyone to know that this means south of Churchgate.
  • You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Mumbaiya Hindi', which only Mumbaites can understand.
  • Your door has more than three locks.
  • Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
  • Train timings (9.27, 10.49) are really important events of life.
  • You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home.
  • You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.
  • You're paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."
  • You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay.
  • Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar  Road, Altamount Road.
  • Stock market quotes are the only other thing besides cricket which you follow passionately.
  • The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the " Bombay Times" supplement.
  • You take fashion seriously. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
  • Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.
  • You compare Bombay to New York 's Manhattan instead of any other cities of India.
  • The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
  • You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport.
  • You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
  • Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
  • Being truly alone makes you nervous.
  • You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ''romantic'.
  • Only in Mumbai, you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken.
    ......Salaam Bombay......

    Brig VA Subramanyam (Retd)
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