Dear Brig Kamboj,
The reference to the inevitable journey on 'the long road to nowhere' which I posted in the memory of a friend, who passed away on the 7th August has evoked considerable response from the 'netizens'. My friend, Virin Bajaj says we are all in the queue. The destination is the same, and we are all in possession of confirmed 'one-way' tickets. Only the date is not known. For some unknown reasons, the Issuing Authority is rather secretive about it. Virin has added that this is perhaps the only queue which no one wants to jump!
Vijay Mayadev of the XIX course, has written in to remind us that the first one amongst our course mates to elbow his way into the bus on the ultimate journey was Hardhir Malia. I dug out my diary to discover, that by a queer coincidence, we lost Malia exactly fifty years ago, on the 11th Aug 1960. He met with an accident on Sunday, the 7th August 1960. I should know the exact details because I was riding the pillion of that ill-fated motor cycle. The late Pilot Officer Rajadhyaksha (He was the elder brother of the eminent writer, Shobha De) was on the other bike, and the two of them had challenged each other to win that wretched race. Rajadhyaksha was leading, and Malia was in no mood to accept defeat. His last words to me were,"Ghabraain naa" and then he turned the throttle...
He was in coma for four days, and the end came on the ensuing Thursday. Every single person in the Academy was shocked, from the commandant down to the humble peons and safaiwalas. For several days, Malia was the talk of the campus. His mother and sisters were inconsolable and the pain on his father's face could be sensed from miles. I still remember the words of the obituary of No. 2847, Cadet HRS Malia which was published. There was a detailed reference to his sterling qualities as a sportsman and his achievements as a daring rider.
Rajadhyaksha suffered from a sense of guilt. He believed that he should not have overtaken Malia, since Hardhir's driving experience was much less than his. At times, he would say, "I killed him..." and then, he would sob inconsolably. Raju, as he was affectionately called became a fighter pilot, but soon after earning his wings, died in an air crash, in 1962. I think Thomas or Jimmy Bhatia should write about him.
*
I compare Malia's death with those of the senior citizens who go after having lived their lives. There is a world of difference. I may be mistaken, but I have rarely seen a sense of shock on the faces of the offspring. The spouse is the principal mourner and the colleagues seem to be mournful, but for the younger generation, it is merely a logical conclusion to life. In cases where the person had gone through a prolonged illness, there is even a sense of relief! A six-line poem by Ogden Nash is worthy of being quoted to end this little piece:
OLD MEN
People expect old men to die,
They do not really mourn old men.
Old men are different.
People look at them with eyes, that wonder when…
People watch with unshocked eyes;
But the old men know when an old man dies.
I wish I could play 'rouse' after this sad 'last post'!
Surjit
(Maj Gen Surjit Singh, Chandigarh)
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Friday, August 13, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Bridging the Gap: General Colin Luther Powell
The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity. An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people. As you grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are. Friends that don't help you climb will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you. Consider this:
Never receive counsel from unproductive people. Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not everyone has a right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person. Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere.
With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it. Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life. Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships. If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights.
"A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses."
The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate - for the good and the bad.
Note: Be not mistaken. This is applicable to family as well as friends. Yes...do love, appreciate and be thankful for your family, for they will always be your family no matter what. Just know that they are human first and though they are family to you, they may be a friend to someone else and will fit somewhere in the criteria above.
"In Prosperity Our Friends Know Us. In Adversity We Know Our friends."
"Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them."
"If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude..."
Colin Powell
We thank Brig PT Gangadharan for sending us the link
Bridging the Gap
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Gist of Life
1. ATTITUDE IS WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT...
SOLDIER: SIR WE ARE SURROUNDED FROM ALL SIDES BY ENEMIES.
MAJOR: EXCELLENT! WE CAN ATTACK IN ANY DIRECTION.
2. EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL WHO INVENTED THE TELEPHONE, BUT HE NEVER MADE A CALLTO HIS FAMILY, BECAUSE, HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER WERE DEAF. THAT'S LIFE "LIVE FOR OTHERS" .
3. THE WORST IN LIFE IS "ATTACHMENT" IT HURTS WHEN YOU LOSE IT. THE BEST THING IN LIFE IS "LONELINESS" BECAUSE IT TEACHES YOU EVERYTHING AND, IF YOU LOSE IT, YOU GET EVERYTHING.
4. LIFE IS NOT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO ACT TRUE TO YOUR FACE... IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO REMAIN TRUE BEHIND YOUR BACK .
5. IF AN EGG IS BROKEN BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE... A LIFE ENDS. IF AN EGG BREAKS FROM WITHIN... LIFE BEGINS. GREAT THINGS ALWAYS BEGIN FROM WITHIN .
6. IT'S BETTER TO LOSE YOUR EGO TO THE ONE YOU LOVE, THAN TO LOSE THE ONE YOU LOVE ... BECAUSE OF EGO.
7. A RELATIONSHIP DOESN'T SHINE BY JUST SHAKING HANDS ATTHE BEST OF TIMES. BUT IT BLOSSOMS BY HOLDING FIRMLY IN CRITICAL SITUATIONS .
8. HEATED GOLD BECOMES ORNAMENTS. BATTED COPPER BECOMES WIRES. DEPLETED STONE BECOMES STATUE. SO, THE MORE PAIN YOU GET IN YOUR LIFE THE MORE VALUABLE YOU BECOME.
9. WHY WE HAVE SO MANY TEMPLES, IF GOD IS EVERYWHERE? A WISE MAN SAID: AIR IS EVERYWHERE, BUT WE STILL NEED A FAN, TO FEEL IT .
10. WHEN YOU TRUST SOMEONE TRUST HIM COMPLETELY WITHOUT ANY DOUBT... AT THE END YOU WOULD GET ONE OF THE TWO: EITHER A GREAT LESSON FOR YOUR LIFE OR A VERY GOOD PERSON.
SOLDIER: SIR WE ARE SURROUNDED FROM ALL SIDES BY ENEMIES.
MAJOR: EXCELLENT! WE CAN ATTACK IN ANY DIRECTION.
2. EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL WHO INVENTED THE TELEPHONE, BUT HE NEVER MADE A CALLTO HIS FAMILY, BECAUSE, HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER WERE DEAF. THAT'S LIFE "LIVE FOR OTHERS" .
3. THE WORST IN LIFE IS "ATTACHMENT" IT HURTS WHEN YOU LOSE IT. THE BEST THING IN LIFE IS "LONELINESS" BECAUSE IT TEACHES YOU EVERYTHING AND, IF YOU LOSE IT, YOU GET EVERYTHING.
4. LIFE IS NOT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO ACT TRUE TO YOUR FACE... IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO REMAIN TRUE BEHIND YOUR BACK .
5. IF AN EGG IS BROKEN BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE... A LIFE ENDS. IF AN EGG BREAKS FROM WITHIN... LIFE BEGINS. GREAT THINGS ALWAYS BEGIN FROM WITHIN .
6. IT'S BETTER TO LOSE YOUR EGO TO THE ONE YOU LOVE, THAN TO LOSE THE ONE YOU LOVE ... BECAUSE OF EGO.
7. A RELATIONSHIP DOESN'T SHINE BY JUST SHAKING HANDS ATTHE BEST OF TIMES. BUT IT BLOSSOMS BY HOLDING FIRMLY IN CRITICAL SITUATIONS .
8. HEATED GOLD BECOMES ORNAMENTS. BATTED COPPER BECOMES WIRES. DEPLETED STONE BECOMES STATUE. SO, THE MORE PAIN YOU GET IN YOUR LIFE THE MORE VALUABLE YOU BECOME.
9. WHY WE HAVE SO MANY TEMPLES, IF GOD IS EVERYWHERE? A WISE MAN SAID: AIR IS EVERYWHERE, BUT WE STILL NEED A FAN, TO FEEL IT .
10. WHEN YOU TRUST SOMEONE TRUST HIM COMPLETELY WITHOUT ANY DOUBT... AT THE END YOU WOULD GET ONE OF THE TWO: EITHER A GREAT LESSON FOR YOUR LIFE OR A VERY GOOD PERSON.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Message of Life: Anandpur Sahib
Standing on the threshold of the decade of eighties as I step over the dividing line on November the fifth, the question of celebrating the birthday does not cross my mind.
Come evening, there is a visit by a family of friends: father, mother and daughter, carrying a box of pastries and a bouquet of lovely blue- green and magenta orchids arranged tastefully in a basket.
I am pleasantly surprised, overwhelmed and falling short of words, in how to thank for the thoughtful gesture: the present and the effervescent ‘Happy Birthday’ wish proofed in unison, mumble some thing...
The box, containing Black Forest and Pineapple pastries, the pastries to be savoured slowly, is destined to the fridge, the basket, the Orchids to be admired at leisure, to the centre of the dining table.
As the days pass, one by one, the pastries, slowly, dwindle in number, enjoyed in small bites and pieces, the orchids on the other hand, strangely, day by day grow by millimetres, both in height and beauty.
Somehow, in the growing Orchids and dwindling Pastries I discern a subtle ’Message of Life’: its beauty, continuity and finality.
The Gurudawara at Anandpur and Kababs at Chandigarh
It was getting dark on that chilly, remembered, December evening of the year 1999. From Chandigarh, past Bhakra, climbing up, to Una in Himachal Pradesh and on to Bangara, Dharam Singh’s home, a hamlet of just four houses, mostly in second, gear on the twisting and turning, unpaved track of a road, I have been driving since morning.
Now, returning back to Chandigarh , both of us tired, Jeet frail and weak, back from the recent long and debilitating journey from , New York, possibly deep in her own thoughts, a victim of cancer, that though defeated twice but not been vanquished is, once again, quietly stirring inside her, is unusually quiet.
I am a worried man and a concerned husband, concerned about her and worried, already getting late in the night with Punjab recently returned from the heavy bout of insurgency coupled with so many other imponderables lurking at he back of my mind, of making it safe to Chandigarh.
In a hurry, I am pressing the accelerator down and pushing the NE 118 hard on the lonely narrow dark road lit only by the twin car headlights as it hurtles ahead, with the engine humming smoothly, the reassuring, sound somewhat soothing to my troubled mind.
On our way up as we crossed Anandpur Sihab, Jeet, was keen to pay her respects at the gurudawara, already late and I in a hurry to reach Una, where Dharam Singh, my section JCO from 1962, was waiting for us, had suggested to pend it for the same evening return journey.
Nearing Anand Pur Saihab, I slow down and breaking her reverie indicate to her the gurudawara, now visible from the window of the moving car in far distance, perched on a hillock, flood lit and shining like a jewel.
Sensing the latent tension in my tone, Jeet, perceptible as usual, responds “It is getting late; let us leave it for some other time.”
I know that she would be sourly disappointed if she misses this opportunity and now already late, I reckon that now, another hour or so would not make much of a difference: ‘Who knows when we will come this side again.” I say and spin the steering wheel left, turning the car off the road and on to the track leading to the gurudawara.
At the foot of the hillock, where I park, is a shanty market with the stalls doing roaring business, selling nick knacks, Karas, Kirpans and other souvenirs of the visit to the holy place to the devotees and eatables to the accompanying children. I wait in the car as Jeet opens her side door, gingerly steps out and starts her slow trudge up on the winding path.
I, in a pensive mood, watch her slow laboured progress. She must have been half up when some thing hit me and exploded inside. “What am I doing here sitting in the comfort of the car, while she is struggling up, taking each step with the force of will power, I ask myself? In desperation I jump out, bang the car door and run up the track, taking the steps two at a time, hoping to catch up and join with her before she vanishes from sight in the milling multitude of the devotees.
Huffing and puffing I do make it, surprising her in the processes. She, seeing me there unexpectedly, possibly experiencing frisson and as I hold her hand gives me a vane smile: both of us enter the portals of the holy place and following the customs, side by side, perform the required rituals and pay our obeisances.
With the divine hand now looking after us all the way, we made Chandigarh safe and sound. However, on reaching the city, Jeet, though an extremely poor eater had an intense urge for Mutton Kababs. All the restaurants of the town did have Kababs but of Chicken. Mutton, we did manage finally in a five star hotel, after going around all the eateries, as the last resort. That however is another story, another episode, in the Odyssey of our life together to be narrated some other time.
Brig Lakshman Singh (Retd)
Come evening, there is a visit by a family of friends: father, mother and daughter, carrying a box of pastries and a bouquet of lovely blue- green and magenta orchids arranged tastefully in a basket.
I am pleasantly surprised, overwhelmed and falling short of words, in how to thank for the thoughtful gesture: the present and the effervescent ‘Happy Birthday’ wish proofed in unison, mumble some thing...
The box, containing Black Forest and Pineapple pastries, the pastries to be savoured slowly, is destined to the fridge, the basket, the Orchids to be admired at leisure, to the centre of the dining table.
As the days pass, one by one, the pastries, slowly, dwindle in number, enjoyed in small bites and pieces, the orchids on the other hand, strangely, day by day grow by millimetres, both in height and beauty.
Somehow, in the growing Orchids and dwindling Pastries I discern a subtle ’Message of Life’: its beauty, continuity and finality.
The Gurudawara at Anandpur and Kababs at Chandigarh
It was getting dark on that chilly, remembered, December evening of the year 1999. From Chandigarh, past Bhakra, climbing up, to Una in Himachal Pradesh and on to Bangara, Dharam Singh’s home, a hamlet of just four houses, mostly in second, gear on the twisting and turning, unpaved track of a road, I have been driving since morning.
Now, returning back to Chandigarh , both of us tired, Jeet frail and weak, back from the recent long and debilitating journey from , New York, possibly deep in her own thoughts, a victim of cancer, that though defeated twice but not been vanquished is, once again, quietly stirring inside her, is unusually quiet.
I am a worried man and a concerned husband, concerned about her and worried, already getting late in the night with Punjab recently returned from the heavy bout of insurgency coupled with so many other imponderables lurking at he back of my mind, of making it safe to Chandigarh.
In a hurry, I am pressing the accelerator down and pushing the NE 118 hard on the lonely narrow dark road lit only by the twin car headlights as it hurtles ahead, with the engine humming smoothly, the reassuring, sound somewhat soothing to my troubled mind.
On our way up as we crossed Anandpur Sihab, Jeet, was keen to pay her respects at the gurudawara, already late and I in a hurry to reach Una, where Dharam Singh, my section JCO from 1962, was waiting for us, had suggested to pend it for the same evening return journey.
Nearing Anand Pur Saihab, I slow down and breaking her reverie indicate to her the gurudawara, now visible from the window of the moving car in far distance, perched on a hillock, flood lit and shining like a jewel.
Sensing the latent tension in my tone, Jeet, perceptible as usual, responds “It is getting late; let us leave it for some other time.”
I know that she would be sourly disappointed if she misses this opportunity and now already late, I reckon that now, another hour or so would not make much of a difference: ‘Who knows when we will come this side again.” I say and spin the steering wheel left, turning the car off the road and on to the track leading to the gurudawara.
At the foot of the hillock, where I park, is a shanty market with the stalls doing roaring business, selling nick knacks, Karas, Kirpans and other souvenirs of the visit to the holy place to the devotees and eatables to the accompanying children. I wait in the car as Jeet opens her side door, gingerly steps out and starts her slow trudge up on the winding path.
I, in a pensive mood, watch her slow laboured progress. She must have been half up when some thing hit me and exploded inside. “What am I doing here sitting in the comfort of the car, while she is struggling up, taking each step with the force of will power, I ask myself? In desperation I jump out, bang the car door and run up the track, taking the steps two at a time, hoping to catch up and join with her before she vanishes from sight in the milling multitude of the devotees.
Huffing and puffing I do make it, surprising her in the processes. She, seeing me there unexpectedly, possibly experiencing frisson and as I hold her hand gives me a vane smile: both of us enter the portals of the holy place and following the customs, side by side, perform the required rituals and pay our obeisances.
With the divine hand now looking after us all the way, we made Chandigarh safe and sound. However, on reaching the city, Jeet, though an extremely poor eater had an intense urge for Mutton Kababs. All the restaurants of the town did have Kababs but of Chicken. Mutton, we did manage finally in a five star hotel, after going around all the eateries, as the last resort. That however is another story, another episode, in the Odyssey of our life together to be narrated some other time.
Brig Lakshman Singh (Retd)
Thursday, November 20, 2008
IESM: Our Ethos and our Refrain
Ex- Servicemen Movement in essence beholds a singular aim with many routes. The ethos of veterans is embodied in this refrain "I believe".
A Birth Certificate shows that we were born...
A Death Certificate shows that we died...
Pictures show that we lived!
I Believe...
That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.
I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I Believe...
That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I Believe...
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down,
will be the ones to help you get back up.
I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I Believe...
That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others. sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I Believe...
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but, we are responsible for who we become.
I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life Forever.
I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. (So true of all the veteran organisations)
I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of seconds by people who don't even know you.
I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you- you will find the strength to help.
I Believe...
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
I Believe...
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything.
(reproduced from the Internet)
A Birth Certificate shows that we were born...
A Death Certificate shows that we died...
Pictures show that we lived!
I Believe...
That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.
I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I Believe...
That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I Believe...
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down,
will be the ones to help you get back up.
I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I Believe...
That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others. sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I Believe...
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but, we are responsible for who we become.
I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life Forever.
I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. (So true of all the veteran organisations)
I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of seconds by people who don't even know you.
I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you- you will find the strength to help.
I Believe...
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
I Believe...
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything.
(reproduced from the Internet)
Friday, May 9, 2008
Life is Beautiful
Don't Limit yourself.
Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do.
You can go as far as your mind lets you.
What you believe, you can achieve.
Like birds, let's leave behind what we don't need to carry –
Grudges. Sadness, Pain, Fear and Regrets ….. Fly light.
Life is Truly Beautiful.
Have a Wonderful and Fabulous Day..
Brig VA Subramanyam (Retd)
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